Media speculation has it that the name is anything from one of the characters from Mortal Kombat, a Shaolin Monk or that it is from the Hawaiian word for sea, the Finnish word for rejoice, a hybrid with Welsh, Scandinavian and Greek roots meaning  keeper of the keys, whilst further speculation offers Japanese, Mandarin and even Burmese origins.

Eurocritics can exclusively reveal speculate that the name Kai Wayne is in fact an affectionate tribute to the fearsome religious leader Kai Winn from the excellent TV series Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, which Wayne and Coleen would undoubtedly have watched on late night TV on one of the many large screen TVs installed throughout their custom built luxury mansion.

Wayne and Coleen are both devout Catholics and would undoubtedly have been drawn to the fiery, independent, if misguided, nature of the combative and committed faithist.

There is even some photographic likeness. Nobody has yet seen a picture of Kai Wayne but photos of

Wayne Rooney - or it it Kai Winn

Wayne,

Coleen Rooney

Coleen and

Kai Winn - or is it Wayne Rooney

Kai Winn even show a certain similarity between the footballer and the religious leader.

X Factor contestants Kandy Rain

This weekend’s shows were par for the course, compelling and depressing in equal proportions.

In the previous two weeks we had seen the predictable departure of girl group Kandy Rain in week 1, to my mind not for musical reasons but because they were simply too sexy for an ultimately conservative show like The X Factor and the welcome departure of the oddly eyebrowed Scot Rikki Loney the following week.

The biggest change for this week’s Big Band theme was a completely new image for Rachel Adedeji, who abandoned her Rihanna meets Morrissey big top for a cute bob and swapped her previous moody introversion for a giggly smiley face that left me wondering if she was on Prozac. Whatever the reason, she turned in a much better, albeit less interesting performance and avoided the unbearable torture of a third week sing off.

Of the other contestants, Ollie Murs, who surprisingly fancies himself as a cross between Justin Timberlake and Chris Brown; teen hearthrob Joe McElderry,

Wee Joe McElderry, Cheryl's sex bomb or is it little brother?

who confused the nation’s sweetheart Cheryl Cole into saying both that he is sexy and like a brother to her; the anonymous Lloyd Daniels; the previously impressive and constantly charming Stacey Solomon; the overly confident Danyl Johnson; and Jamie Afro Archer turned in competent if unremarkable performances, the highlight of which was the latter’s performance of a U2 song causing geriatric Louis Walsh to protest that Jamie and Simon Cowell were cheating by not selecting a “real” big band song. Oh, the controversy!

The remaining three contestants delivered more exciting performances, Welsh Divette Lucie Jones was effortlessly immaculate, the “controversial” Grimes twins John & Edward, aka Jedward, once again turned in the most entertaining performance of all the contestants and the manufactured trio comprising recruitment consultant Shar Alexandra, barmaid Graziella Affinita and hairdresser Shanice Davis, aka Miss Frank, turned in the one performance of the night that actually brought some art into the music on offer, largely due to another impressive rap by Graziella.

Their art was all in vain however as tonight’s sing off pitted Miss Frank

Miss Frank will be missed

against Danyl Johnson and, after fellow judges Louis Walsh (groups) and Simon Cowell (over 25s) understandably backed their own artists, Dannii Minogue plumped for Danyl and Cheryl Cole displayed untypical feebleness by declining to make a decision and passed the buck to the public. There was never any doubt that the target audience for this light entertainment talent show wasn’t going to pick a really creative act and it was the end of the road for the most original singers on the show, Miss Frank.

All in all, this weekend’s shows were another triumph for the conservative mediocrity the show specialises in, complete with additional live performances by the bafflingly successful vocal group Westlife and the effortlessly charmless competence of Michael Bublé.

Will I watch again next week? Almost certainly, although now the art has gone and left only the pop, I doubt I’ll watch faithfully every week as I have up to now. The final show is a must see though, if only to see how the nation’s pop fanatics have thinned out the competition’s wilder edges, leaving only the polished, if impersonal, pop pie perfection.

Skunk Anansie were back at the Water Rats fifteen years after it all started there.  But this was no nostalgia trip, they seemed just perfect for this moment in 2009.

Skin was dressed in a frightening feather-like outfit. She looked scarier than a velociraptor, although this was no Jurassic Park. This was now and the future too. She was joined onstage by Cass and Ace whilst Mark Richardson had taken time out from drumming with Feeder to complete the line up that the band had so much success with from touring the first album onwards.

Skin of Skunk Anansie live

This was billed as a secret gig under the name SCAM (Skin, Cass, Ace, Mark), sold out in twenty minutes and if you weren’t one of those lucky few who found that window of opportunity open then you could’ve paid up to £400 a ticket via eBay!

Greatest Hits here we come… Selling Jesus, I Can Dream, Charity, Weak, Brazen and all. And they’re still asking who put the little baby swastikkka on the wall! The whole set was familiar except for one track I never caught the name of but, according to guitar hero Ace, there’s a lot more to follow where that came from.

Skunk Anansie have risen from the ashes, just like the phoenix and the flame etc – and guess what? They’re gonna be huge! Again. Huger than before.

So, exciting times ahead if you’re a Skunk fan because this ain’t no one night stand. It is a new beginning and it makes a lot of sense. Stay tuned Mr Charlie Big Potato, just because it feels good DOES make it right.

Why should you choose to read classic literature? Classic literature is the best of the best from a bygone era. It offers a glimpse into our former social habits and customs, the foundations of our modern society and intellectual reasoning. In coming to understand those times and people, you will know our modern life better.

photo of Louisa May Alcott

Louisa May Alcott was a maverick thinker, activist and writer. She fervently believed in and actively worked for women’s suffrage, the abolition of slavery and integrated schooling – boys and girls, blacks and whites educated together. She was a woman who was unafraid of the world, or of being alone in it. Famously a spinster, a fate worse than death for most women of the 1860s, Louisa May was unconcerned and even uninterested in others opinions of her unmarried status and explained it once in a interview saying “I have fallen in love with so many pretty girls and never once the least bit with any man”.

She came by these feelings and beliefs quiet naturally. The bohemian world in which she was raised was filled with forward thinkers, liberal minds and unorthodox educators; most notably her father, the philosopher, educator and influential Transcendentalist, Bronson Alcott. Bronson surrounded his young family with the people who would help to direct and shape the modern world, people like Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nathaniel Hawthorne and Margaret Fuller. So it may come as a surprise that she should write a book full of such strong conventional, even traditional values.

Little Women was not Alcott’s first book, but it is by far her most well known. Considered her seminal work, Little Women was originally published in two parts in 1868 and 1869, part two was titled Good Wives in the UK and Europe and still is in most cases — an important fact if you’re looking for just one book, when what you really need is both books.  It revolves around the life of four sisters Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy March and is based heavily on her own life in Concord, Massachusetts in the family home Orchard House.

photo of Orchard House by Leon H Abdalian

Alcott’s simple tale of four girls growing-up, learning to love each other and themselves, follows the group from early adolescence (Meg 16, Jo 15, Beth 13 and Amy 12) through to adulthood. Alcott’s moral message and the themes of family, god and simple pleasures can frequently feel a bit heavy handed to the point of preachy, but her charming characters, their fun and lively society and friends more than make-up for the moral battering you sometimes feel you’re receiving.

Main character Jo is the centre of this tale and obviously meant to be Alcott herself. This rambunctious, curious tomboy loves writing plays to be performed at home with her sisters for the sparse but appreciative audience of her Mother, Father and maid Hannah Mullet. These plays are a forerunner to the sensational stories she will eventually write and sell to the tabloid papers of the day, and form the cornerstone of her writer’s education.

Jo is the down to earth and sensible, but passionate, sister with sparse physical possessions and a grumpy distrust of physical beauty or societal attributes. Strong and independent, it is easy to see early feminist attitudes in the lovely Jo, although Alcott wouldn’t see that herself. Jo is all strong character with a wide stubborn streak, prickly on the outside, but tender, caring and kind on the inside. Although she tries to hide this softer side, all those who know her best help her protect this. Her sisters’ characters are all significantly different than Jo’s, which allows Alcott to teach her moral lessons. Each sister has a different strength and each suffers from a different character flaw.

Meg is the natural mother and her goals and desires mostly revolve around home, husband and children, but with a desire for material things that she will always struggle with.

Youngest sister Amy is blessed with natural grace and beauty. She is also possessed of a true artistic talent and instinctively understands and respects those little niceties of society that make her charming in company. Unlike Jo she understands the need to return social visits and be polite, holding her tongue rather than blurt out honest opinion, things Jo just can’t seem to comprehend.  But Amy is vain and strutting, spoiled by her sisters and her parents, who all indulge her in her little vanities.

Middle sister Beth is painfully shy and stoic, always labouring to ease her sister’s burden. She loves with an open innocent heart and is the person Jo will try to emulate but will never quiet succeed. Although her shyness prevents her from truly experiencing the fullness of life and love, Beth’s journey is fated to end far too soon. Beth and Jo have the special bond between helpless babe and protector, with both girls alternatively being either protector or vulnerable child. Jo and Beth share the most emotionally wrenching moment in the book and in their singular moment of need they will both comfort and be comforted until the end.

Although Little Women can feel a bit preachy and Christian-centric, the basic tale is one of love, self-improvement and family and is well presented. The Marches are a strong, close, loving family with their share of trials and tribulations. Alcott’s ability to convey the young girls’ personal catastrophe of not having the right gloves or dress is entertaining and enchanting and will evoke your own personal memories of adolescent devastation upon discovering a blemish on Prom Night or spinach stuck between your teeth on a first date.

The images and ideas are unmistakably of a century long gone and a life most of us wouldn’t even recognise, offering us a glimpse of the beginnings of recognisable contemporary social attitudes and the start of the classlessness and equality that society has worked so hard to finally achieve.

Combat! Season 1 Campaign 1 DVD artwork

As with all episodic television the quality is variable but it’s never less than watchable and at its best it ranks alongside far bigger productions. There’s a grittier, more ‘real’ feel to Combat! than the star studded, mega budget The Longest Day for instance.

There are several recurring plot themes – scouting missions, new recruits, and three members of the squad are, at different times, captured by the Germans – but the best episodes transcend these basic plot ideas.

The three standout episodes are “Forgotten Front”, “Escape to Nowhere” and “Cat and Mouse”.

In “Forgotten Front” the squad are sent behind enemy lines to get the location of hidden German heavy artillery. They find a good hiding place in an abandoned factory to phone in the coordinates of the big gun, but things get complicated when they discover a German deserter hiding inside.

The episode highlights the moral complexities of war, as Saunders must decide what to do with the prisoner when it becomes clear they can’t take him back and he’s overheard too much information that would be useful to the Germans to be allowed to go free.

Morrow gives an outstanding performance as the man forced to make the morally repugnant yet necessary choice, while Pierre Jalbert and Steven Rogers as the battle hardened Caje and the more innocent Doc offer exemplary support.

In “Escape to Nowhere” it’s Hanley’s turn to get captured (Saunders had been nabbed in “Just For the Record” and Pvt. Braddock in “The Prisoner”). When the Lieutenant is captured a German officer involved in a failed plot to assassinate Hitler enlists his aid in order to get across to the American side, but first they must make their way through the German lines.

It’s a tense episode that manages to keep Hanley’s fate in question, no mean feat for a weekly TV show, as the American is forced to masquerade as a German officer to reach freedom. This episode features possibly the most haunting image of the series, as Hanley and the German are held at gunpoint by a group of children in a desolate graveyard. It’s a moment that brings home the real horror of war far more than any explosions and gunfire could.

Good though both of those episodes are, “Cat and Mouse” is even better. We don’t find out what Saunders did before the war (at least not in this set) but in “Cat and Mouse” we learn that he wasn’t a soldier. Stumbling back after an ill fated scouting mission that left his men dead, Saunders is ordered out again. This time he’s to accompany Sgt. Jenkins, a professional soldier who resents the ‘shoe salesmen’ who have been drafted in to fight the war. The episode is a battle of wills between the two sergeants, one a professional soldier the other a gifted amateur, which escalates when the farmhouse they’re hiding in becomes a makeshift German command centre. Morrow meets his equal in Albert Salmi as Jenkins, one of the shows most complex characters – bitter and arrogant, yet also undeniably heroic. The episode features an appropriately downbeat climax.

Apart from Salmi the series features such notable guest stars as Jeffrey Hunter, Tab Hunter, Keenan Wynn and Dan O’Herlihy as well as before-they-were-famous appearances by Tom Skerritt, Walter Koenig and Harry Dean Stanton. But it’s the names behind the camera that show why Combat! is such a quality piece of television.

All three of those standout episodes I mentioned were directed by film legend Robert Altman (“Cat and Mouse” was also written by him) while Burt Kennedy, a director more famous for westerns, particularly the comedy variety, also helms a couple. Both men were war veterans and bring a level of realism to the show that helped elevate it above its TV budget. Also worth a mention is the writer of “Forgotten Front”, Logan Swanson, better known under his real name Richard Matheson.

While watching this set I’ve been reading Audie Murphy’s memoir of his wartime experiences, To Hell and Back and I was struck by how similar the two seem, not in plot but in the gritty feel. There are little touches, like taking off helmets before going on a night reconnaissance mission because they would make too much noise, that also feature in Murphy’s book and add to the shows feeling of authenticity. In fact Combat! is far truer to the spirit of the book than the more gung-ho 1955 Hollywood adaptation.

I’ve no idea if the show ever aired in the UK or other parts of Europe, I can find no mention of any such transmissions online but it’s hard to believe such a quality production could have slipped under the radar of European TV executives. One thing is for sure – its powerful performances, strong scripts and assured direction all come together to make Combat! a series well worth unearthing from the TV tomb.

The series is currently only available on Region 1 DVD.

I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to try to become well read. I understand that it all seems so daunting, almost overwhelming. You can feel like you need to be well read, or at the very least highly educated, before you can even attempt to read classic literature. But you don’t. It’s easier than you think. So where should you begin? This series is here to help you, to walk you through the veritable minefield that is classic literature.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, best known by his pen name Mark Twain, has been called the father of American Literature, most notably by William Faulkner and Ernest Hemingway. His novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is considered the first great American novel. It is also one of the first American novels by a major author to be written in the first person using the colour and vernacular of the region. It is for this reason that it has always been a controversial book.

To read Huck Finn you will need to set aside your modern-day PC prejudices, and keep in mind that this book is set years before the American Civil War, the war that freed the slaves. As such, the book is scattered with the word Nigger. Yes, it’s a word that most white Europeans cringe at, and rightly so, as it is a symbol of our repression and enslavement of many Africans. A detestable word indeed but widely and commonly used in the American South of the 1840s and 50s, a time when Twain was living and working on the Mississippi River.

Twain himself was a staunch, outspoken abolitionist and and showed his support of President Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation when he said “Lincoln’s Proclamation… not only set the black slaves free, but set the white man free also.” In writing The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Twain was satirising a society that he saw as deeply and tragically flawed. Although Huck Finn wasn’t published until 1885 in the US (vandalism of the original printing plates delayed its US début), more than 20 years after the end of the Civil War and the freeing of the slaves, racism was still rife and justice for US non-whites, something else Twain was passionate about, was non-existent.

Is Huck Finn a racist himself? Yes, but he doesn’t know it; he is a product of his environment and has been taught that niggers are property, not humans. However Huck treats the co-protagonist, runaway slave Jim, like a man – and a wiser man at that, rather than property. Twain wrote Jim as a dignified character and allows Huck to accept and respect this, as Jim comes to serve as Huck’s travelling companion, moral compass and eventually his friend.

In the words of the noted black novelist Ralph Ellison “Huckleberry Finn knew, as did Mark Twain, that Jim was not only a slave but a human being, a symbol of humanity”. So Twain never intended Jim to be a caricature of a slave, but rather a man with human capacities and capabilities, something that most Southerners would never have considered at the time.

Huck Finn

So true does their friendship become that when the time comes for Huck to decide whether or not to turn Jim in, he is forced to wrestle with his conscience. Is he stealing Miss Watson’s property (Jim) or not he asks himself? Huck quickly decides “All right, then, I’ll go to hell!”, rather than betray his friend Jim. Through Huck, Twain shows his support of the abolition of slavery; as Ellison said “…in freeing Jim, Huck makes a bid to free himself of the conventionalised evil taken for civilisation by the town”.

But The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is more than just satirical commentary on racism and slavery, it’s the adventures of a straight talking, salt-of-the-earth po’ [sic] boy and his older wiser friend as they seek riches and freedom together. Huck helps Jim escape and together they set off on the adventures on the Mississippi.

Told in first person by Huck himself, you see the world through the eyes of a boy who baulks at the attempts to “sivilize” [sic] him, who yearns simply for the freedom of the mighty Mississippi River. Huck has the kind of down-on-the-farm wisdom that has become almost stereotypical of such tales, but it all began here with Huck. Twain mastered the out-of-the-mouths-of-babes style of offhand wisdom well, and there are many examples throughout Huck Finn.

The story begins where the earlier The Adventures of Tom Sawyer left off, with Tom and Huck now $6000 richer, and Huck back living with the Widow Douglas and her sister Miss Watson. Huck Finn was originally intended as a companion piece to Tom Sawyer but don’t worry, the book was re-worked by Twain as a stand-alone novel and the narrator, Huck Finn, brings you up to speed very quickly.

In The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Twain questions more than just slavery, he explores justice versus morality, the wisdom of superstitions and the true nature of love and friendship. Twain was more than a century ahead of his time, preaching love, friendship, peace, freedom and justice for all people. It may have been intended for children but I never really understood his revolutionary message when I was in high school, it’s only now that I can marvel at their charisma, satire and meliorism. If you read Huck Finn in school, it deserves another read; if you didn’t, it certainly deserves a first read now.

The adventure is the story of two brothers, Richard, 14 and Jorden aged 5, who stumble upon a time machine in their father’s home laboratory and “accidentally” set off on an amazing journey backwards and forwards through space and time.

Front cover art for Pete Wilder's book The Oracle

The Oracle treasure hunt is for a cash money prize fund, currently £1,000 and rising, based on the clues to be found in the book’s content, which includes the story, full colour illustrations by Ariel Gulluni and their accompanying poems or riddles. There is also a dedicated web site for The Oracle which has additional information on both the treasure hunt and the book itself.

The Oracle is primarily a Treasure Hunt. The reader has the opportunity to discover the whereabouts of a hidden token and claim a cash prize. Somewhere in the United Kingdom, a token is hidden in an area accessible to the general public. Within the pages of the book there are several clues as to the whereabouts of the token. The reader will take great pleasure in solving the clues that lead to the token. Readers can use the token to visit this website and claim the cash prize. The prize fund is displayed online and increases with the sales of the book. For every copy of the book sold, £1.00 will be donated to the prize fund. The minimum prize fund will be guaranteed to be £1,000.

Russia

There’s also a good fun children’s adventure here as the brothers travel to the Moon, the distant future, ancient Egypt and Greece, Communist Russia, the Roman Empire, the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and many more historically important points in time, including a surprise encounter with The Oracle himself…

Einstein

The Oracle is a charming adventure story for kids, the treasure hunt’s clues will baffle and/or stretch the mind of all keen problem solvers – with a little lateral thinking – and a welcome addition to both genres.

Terminator 4 art

“Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins”, starring Christian Bale and Sam Worthington and directed by movie and TV director/producer McG, began shooting last month in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Christian Bale

According to Warner Bros, Terminator 4 is set in the near future of post-apocalyptic 2018, with top Welsh actor Christian Bale playing humanity’s saviour John Connor, again leading the human resistance against Skynet and its army of Terminators.

Sam Worthington

This time, the future Connor was raised to believe in is partially altered by the mysterious appearance of Marcus Wright (rising Aussie star Sam Worthington), a stranger whose last memory is of being on death row.

Apparently Connor must decide whether Marcus has been sent from the future or rescued from the past. As Skynet prepares its final onslaught, Connor and Marcus embark on an odyssey that takes them into the heart of Skynet, where they uncover the terrible secret behind the possible annihilation of mankind.

In addition to its Welsh and Australian stars, the film also stars a very geographically diverse cast including Russian born Anton Yelchin as Kyle Reese, Anglo-French hybrid Charlotte Gainsbourg as Kate Connor, South Korean American Moon Bloodgood as Blair Williams, rapper/actor Common as Barnes, and the largely unknown newcomer Jadagrace as Star.

The Terminator

Terminator 4, as it will henceforth be known, will be the first of a new Terminator film trilogy and marks the latest installment of the multi-billion dollar Terminator franchise which, in addition to the three original movies, includes the TV series The Sarah Connor Chronicles and various other properties. T4 is scheduled to premiere in the USA on May 22 next year.

In hopefully unrelated news, the UK Ministry of Defence has almost completed the setting up of the Skynet orbital battlefield communications network…

The Sandbaggers DVD cover

The Sandbaggers of the title are an elite group of covert operatives under the command of Neil Burnside. The seven episodes in this first season see them tracking down defecting government officials, finding kidnapped scientists and plotting to overthrow a foreign government. But the real battles are between Burnside and his superiors, not to mention his own conscience.

Ray Lonnen, who would go on to star in the well regarded Harry’s Game, plays Sandbagger 1, Willie Caine. For Caine it’s simply a job, one he often doesn’t like but is extremely good at, and Lonnen plays him as an honest working stiff, with none of the airs and graces of the higher-ups. Caine is the most genuine character in the show, and because of that he’s far less interesting than some of the more politically savvy characters.

I’ve always associated Diane Keen with comedy but she’s surprisingly good here. She plays Laura Dickens, the emotionally scarred trainee agent who’s seconded by Burnside into his Sandbaggers outfit. Her relationship with Burnside becomes more than merely professional, which allows us to see a human side to the career focused Sandbagger chief, and it’s testament to how good she is that we accept this change in character.

But the star of the show is Roy Marsden and he makes Neil Burnside one of the most complex characters ever seen on British TV. At times he’s an egotistical, ruthlessly ambitious bastard but he’s also fiercely protective of his Sandbaggers and his relationship with Laura Dickens is touching, partly because he’s so inept at dealing with emotional issues. The political battles between Burnside and his superiors (Richard Vernon as Sir James Greenley aka ‘C’ and Jerome Willis as Deputy Chief Matthew Peele) and his attempts to manipulate his ex-father-in-law Sir Geoffrey Wellingham (Alan MacNaughton) are the show’s highpoints, with the planning usually more enjoyable than the missions themselves.

Series creator and chief writer Ian Mackintosh (he wrote all the episodes for this first season) brings an authenticity to the show, with the writer’s Royal Navy background and (possible) ties to the intelligence community giving him an insider’s perspective. Mackintosh’s scripts all had to be vetted by the Government before they could be made, with one proposed second season episode a casualty of the Official Secrets Act.

The Sandbaggers was a firm favourite of my Dad but had little to appeal to a thirteen year old boy, which is how old I was when the show first aired. Watching it now I can see why he enjoyed it so much and why he became a lifelong Roy Marsden fan. I’m looking forward to discovering seasons two and three immensely.

An avid reader, throughout high school and my early twenties I stuck to the safe, not too deep, modern fiction and historical romance novels (you know the kind, with big breasted, scantily clad women and long-haired men with bulging muscles on the cover). Eventually it just wasn’t enough, I wanted more from a read, plus I didn’t want to feel embarrassed anymore when someone asked me what I was reading. There are only so many times that you can mumble your reply before people begin to suspect that you are, in fact, illiterate. But where to begin? I decided to jump in at the deep end, and make my start with Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. I can honestly tell you I read it cover to cover without understanding half of what I was reading. Which meant once I learned the flow and syntax of the language of the era I had no choice but to read it again, and that isn’t something I would wish on my worst enemy. Tolstoy was an uptight, prigish elitist, both socially and intellectually; a moral bully who was overly fond of his own opinion. I wouldn’t recommend reading Tolstoy until you have built-up your intestinal fortitude.

Winnie the Pooh

So where should you begin? Well I am happy to help you, take you by the hand and walk you through the veritable minefield that is classic literature. Believe me when I say it isn’t as difficult as you may think and it’s so worth it. Classic literature is the best of the best a bygone era. It offers a glimpse into those long-past societies upon which we have built our modern social and intellectual structures, and in coming to understand those times and people better, you will know our modern life better. That and you’ll impress the hell out of your friends and family.

There are a few things to know before we begin. First let’s talk about publishers. An author’s copyright lasts until about 50 – 70 years after death, after which anyone is allowed to republish his or her works. This means that there are many different versions and edits. Some are simple reprints of the original but many strive to “fix” problems from the original print. Some are sympathetic to the original whilst others go overboard “fixing” things that the author has not authorised or envisioned, thereby effectively ripping the soul from the book. So it’s important to find a version that is either very close to the original print or at least only edited with the lightest touch. If the book is a translation this can lead to even more difficulties. However I have found that the big name classic publishers like Penguin Classics usually do a very honest job, and, in Penguin’s case, they include notes at the back, referenced throughout the book, to help you understand long lost words and phrases. For the uninitiated this can be very useful.

For instance: in my copy of Charlotte Brontë’s Villette, one of the many notes explains the sentence “… in short, did her work like the neat handed Phillis she could be when she chose”. Without understanding the world in which the Brontë’s grew-up this statement could be mystifying, as Phillis is not a character in the book, but the reader is obviously supposed to understand this flippant comment. Luckily Penguin Classics knows you won’t understand what the fuck she’s on about so they explain it very well: “Phillis: the name is common in Renaissance pastoral verse, but the reference here is quite clearly to the Phillis of Milton’s ‘ L’Allegro’, whence Charlotte Brontë has taken the epithet, neat-handed…” A handy and educational tool I’m sure you will agree.

Christopher Robin

With all this in mind it’s time to recommend a key book to help you on your path to being well read.

If any phrase has been in my mind whilst researching this article it is most certainly “baby steps”. You need to start small and learn from the ground up before you can easily read and understand the likes of Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky or Shakespeare. So with this idea firmly implanted, my first recommendation to you is Winnie the Pooh.

Yes, the A.A. Milne children’s classic Winnie the Pooh. We all think we know these stories, but most of us have never been exposed to more than the Disney films and that is a travesty. These classic tales will leave you feeling charmed and happily nostalgic for a childhood that, whether real or imagined, was blissful, untroubled, and innocent. Winnie the Pooh is the first of four books, two of which are stories and two poetry. The stories in Winnie the Pooh and The House At Pooh Corner are the charming tales upon which the Disney films are based. However, these tales are really only fully experienced by reading them, as the films aren’t even half as charming as the original books themselves.

Winnie the Pooh may seem like a silly choice for your first step on the road to a life long love of classic literature but the Pooh books are a must read. In the Pooh stories Milne has captured perfectly what it is like to be a child. The simplistic perfect logic of an innocent child, uncomplicated and guileless. The kind of thinking that could lead to world peace, the end of famine and poverty, the kind of thinking we all lost at some undefinable point. Pooh deals with the trials of his simplistic life with cheer, love and innocent playfulness. Reading these books will make you feel good. It’s that simple. The reason that I recommend the Winnie the Pooh books to begin your journey, is that among everything else they are fantastically well written. With syntax that reads like prose and language that harkens back to yesteryear they make the perfect warm-up for something slightly more meaty. Consider them the breadbasket on the table before the appetisers arrive.

Best Friends

If being seen reading Winnie the Pooh on the tube or in the local coffee shop is more than you want to consider, then read them at home. Read them to your child, a niece/nephew or a neighbour’s kid and if no physical child presents themselves, read them to your inner child. They are children’s books after all, a rainy Sunday afternoon is all you really need. And I guarantee that after reading them you will feel a need to play like you haven’t felt since the days of hopscotch, skinned knees and freeze tag. They are truly life affirming books, and who doesn’t need more of that?